Feminist Recollections

For this post, allow me to make some relevant recollections since I just came across an old announcement, which I never knew existed until this evening. This announcement was actually an invitation to my undergraduate thesis defense/presentation from way back in 2004.

As expected, my research was on women and gender. I wanted to know if gender bias existed in IT-based jobs in key government agencies. The results, apparently, were not exciting--there was no bias.

But this is looking at the results in retrospect. At that time, I felt that there was bias against women regardless of what the statistical analysis yielded. Honestly. My presentation must've sounded more like prosecution than defense that my adviser had to say, "bakit mo pipiliting meron ang wala (why insist something when there isn't any)," in our post-presentation talk. I may have now forgotten the important details of my thesis but what's etched very well in my memory was my first real lesson on objectivity.

As a feminist and a development worker, I have been taught the art and science of changemaking where the status quo is challenged and the views, almost always critical. Without objectivity, there is a mighty possibility of losing sight of things in the bigger picture. Changemaking then becomes a mere pointing of fingers and nagging on the streets. At some point, we become displaced and eventually, miss our goals.

Hence, it is important that we look for facts, study them with an open mind and see them as they are. Forget what we were taught before (and what we have learned to believe). If the facts challenge the popular belief, we should not be afraid to go against them. But if the facts yield nothing new, then we should have the humility to admit so.

The Development Studies Program cordially invites everyone to two Development Studies Students' Seminar presentations: 

Hiroshi Inabi will be presenting his paper on factors affecting the willingness of tricycle drivers to join Philhealth's insurance program. Mr. Inaba will present the findings of his study at the Development Studies Program Office on Wednesday, October 13 at 2:00 p.m. Dr. Ma. Eufemia C. Yap, M.D., Coordinator of the Ateneo Health Unit will serve as discussant.

Joyce Talag will be presenting her paper on gender bias in government information technology offices. Ms. Talag will present the findings of her study at the Development Studies Program Office on Friday, October 15 at 11:30 a.m. Ms. Ma. Lourdes V. Rallonza, gender relations lecturer of the political science department, will serve as discussant.

These presentations are part of a series of presentations by Development Studies students. We would like to ask interested parties to inform us of their attendance through ds at admu.edu.ph or at local 5218 (c/o Melissa Mar) so that we can make the necessary arrangements.

From https://lists.ateneo.edu/pipermail/blueboard/2004-October/004100.html.

A Reader's Feedback

As a blogger with the purpose of empowering women to make informed choices, I find it very fulfilling everytime someone approaches me to discuss the issues--no matter how mundane--I write about in this blog.

Last week, during a break at the ladies' room, a colleague in my now former workplace told me that she was considering getting a Brazilian wax. This was after reading one of the most-read posts in World of Womanity, Meet the Brazilian (Waxing) v.2. We went on to discuss the pros and cons of getting a Brazilian, and even compared it to widely-used alternatives like trimming and shaving. That both of us came from the same viewpoint is worth mentioning: Contrary to usual notions of 'bald' women, our practice of waxing or trimming or shaving is really all about maintaining good hygiene.

I find moments like this so liberating and empowering as a young woman. Cheers to us who break stereotypes! :-)

Getting CARRIEd Away

Ironically, it took one phrase that started with "sex" to break a self-inflicted abstinence. (On movies, that is. You dirty minds! :p) With two girls and bunches of tears and laughter, it was aALL worth it.

I so, so loOove SATC, the girls, the clothes, the SHOES and the purses! Sigh...

Anyway, Saturday was a date with two of my great girl friends.

Dinner and cocktails at Jack's Loft

More cocktails at Cafe Adriatico

Why I Love Shoes... Over Men

Let me tell you why...

One womanly wisdom famously passed on from mothers to daughters is to never step on a man's pride. Ever.

To make it easy to remember, just think: Step on a man's pride and you'll get dumped like a pauper. Step on a fab pair of stilettos and you feel like a queen.

So won't it be a smart decision to have a pair of shoes you can always step on rather than a man thou shalt never challenge?

Another reason why I prefer shoes over men is that you can bring them along with you everywhere--from shopping trips to a girl's night out, and they won't ever complain. Though your feet will, at least, at the end of the day, you know that you only need a foot therapy for sacrificing comfort over style.

Unlike with men, it's always okay to lend a pair of shoes to a girl friend. There will be no jealousy involved and in fact, the owner can always give sincere tips on how to get sexy with them.

Shoes are also low maintenance. Except for a few minor repairs (and bet, you wouldn't mind your shoes getting a quick fix wit Mr. Quickie), it's also okay to leave a shoe alone and untouched in the closet. You can always be certain it's never gonna wander off with another owner. Sigh.

And most of all, you can keep tens, hundreds or even thousands of trophy shoes and NEVER be labeled promiscuous. But keeping two men around will certainly encourage chismis.

So can you blame me if I'd rather spend a Friday night shoe-hunting?

Happy Mother's Day!

I consider every Mother's Day as a blessing. I thank God for another year spent with my mom and my daughter. I'm also very happy that so many people remembered to greet me.

Dad has to be away today and so we just celebrated yesterday. Nothing fancy. But it was good enough we celebrated in the company of each other. Below are some pictures:






Last year, I ended my Mother's Day post at my Multiply with Boyz II Men's Song for Mama. This year, I'll be ending my post here with this poem by William Ross Wallace.

The Hand that Rocks the Cradle is
the Hand that Rules the World

Blessings on the hand of women!

Angels guard its strength and grace,

In the palace, cottage, hovel,

Oh, no matter where the place;

Would that never storms assailed it,

Rainbows ever gently curled;

For the hand that rocks the cradle

Is the hand that rules the world.

Infancy's the tender fountain,

Power may with beauty flow,

Mother's first to guide the streamlets,

From them souls unresting grow--

Grow on for the good or evil,

Sunshine streamed or evil hurled;

For the hand that rocks the cradle

Is the hand that rules the world.

Woman, how divine your mission

Here upon our natal sod!

Keep, oh, keep the young heart open

Always to the breath of God!

All true trophies of the ages

Are from mother-love impearled;

For the hand that rocks the cradle

Is the hand that rules the world.

Blessings on the hand of women!

Fathers, sons, and daughters cry,

And the sacred song is mingled

With the worship in the sky--

Mingles where no tempest darkens,

Rainbows evermore are hurled;

For the hand that rocks the cradle

Is the hand that rules the world.

Being a mother is both a blessing and a responsibility.

Again, happy mother's day to all! :)

The Empress Wears New Style

I've been wrongfully accused of fashion crimes one too many times.

When I wore couture shorts to a dinner or gimmick six months before the Wowowee hosts started wearing them, I was told I'm being promiscuous.

When I bought the first set of skinny jeans arrivals in the country, I had to brace myself from snapping to an officemate who muttered "fit na fit ang jeans mo ah" after saying "wow! ang sexy" audibly. Four or five months after, she was crazy about purchasing a 350-peso pair from another officemate.

Now that I have been so crazy about high waisted pencil skirts, I get similar comments from people in the office. (Geez... I bought my first high waisted skirt months before the ASAP girls wore them in the show. And still, to them, I was so 80s. Well, I'm thinking of 50s but if that's what they think, then so be it.)

You're just baduy and outdated, I'd silently say to myself whenever an office jerk would tell me that.

It might be that I'm just being sensitive about it. But the thing is I really get irked whenever a less-fashionable person tells me those things. I would've called it constructive criticism if it comes from someone with a relatively good fashion taste or even from someone with a better fashion sense. But come on! Don't tell me those things when you'll be rushing to the nearest tiangge to buy similar clothes just because you've seen some local icon wear them on a variety show.

It's not that I have negative notions about local icons and variety shows. I watch them and find their hosts pretty. What I am trying to rant about is the attitude of the people I know.

However, putting myself in their grade school boy shoes (hehe), could it be that fashion for the masa (general public) is an acquired taste? Like, could high waisted skirts and skinny jeans be really ugly and it's just the common opinion of fashion trendsetters that make them likeable?

Think of it this way: a decade or more after when our daughters will look at our old pictures, how would they react over our clothes and our dos? Will they laugh at them or will they marvel at them the way we do whenever we see Audrey Hepburn and Jackie O's old pictures?

It may be similar to Hans Christian Andersen's children's story, The Emperor Wears New Clothes. People will say the clothes look great though they really don't--because there were no clothes after all. It just took one naughty kid (who was not taught by his mother to shut up when needed) to point out that the emperor was in fact, naked.

So are the office jerks being the undisciplined kid? And I, do I look like a fool just like the emperor? Are the fashion designers and trendsetters tricking us?

Celebrities are the best advertisers of fashion (and fad). They are the ones who bridge the runway and the street. Their tastes are always the most crucial in popularizing trends. Trends actually start with them and a few other personalities until they are copied by the general public.

I just come somewhere in between. But the thing is, at least I'm not the last copycat.

Filipino men should emulate the Philippine Eagle

It's a sad, sad thing that Pinoy machismo is designed along the low-lying ranks of basaguleros like FPJ (I mean, in his movie roles) and real-life womanizers (and should I say pervs) like...

Well, before I burst into more rants. I learned during the Haribon Biodiversity Conservation Session, which I attended, that the Philippine Eagle is not only the rarest, largest and most powerful birds in the world. It is also very loyal. It sticks to its one and only mate even if the mate has already died.

Now, wouldn't the Philippine society be cured of its social illnesses if men will have a change of idols?

How I Finally Ditched that Yo

Just like any drama queen for a girlfriend, I called it quits with Mr. Yo for quite a million times already. And as always, all the goodbyes resulted into reconciliation. So after a day, two days, a week, a couple of weeks or a few months at the longest, Mr. Yo and I are one again.

As the old, familiar saying: you sow an action and reap a habit; you sow a habit and reap a character; you sow a character and reap a destiny goes, I started smoking as a mere social action. I admit--without the slightest bit of shame, that I tried smoking out of satisfying my curiosity and succumbing into peer pressure. Later on, this mere social action became a habit. It became an activity after class, during long breaks, before and after an exam, after eating and while drinking coffee and booze.

It was a costly habit. Just like most women I know, I started with West Ice, Capri and DJ Mix strawberry. Let's say that I consumed a pack a day (including the bums), at P50 a day then, it could've been enough to feed someone everyday. Since I've gone for the cheaper Winston and Marlboro Lights, every year, I spent P9,000 for cigarettes.

Because it was hard to let go of something which became a habit. I pretty much became dependent on cigarettes. Mr. Yo was my ever reliable buddy. He accompanied me on stressful days like on hell weeks when there were so many papers and exams. He was there with me on cold, lonely nights when I was faced with teenage heartbreaks. And he made the best partner-in-crime: he made gimmick and drinking nights funner than what could've been without them.

I was a Yosi Girl and it was both a character and a fate which I did not feel like changing.

You see, those informational campaigns didn't work on me (and I guess on majority of smokers). I was grossed by the chemicals present in a stick of yosi and what that stick can possibly cause to my body organs. But it did not move me to stop smoking. The dad or the uncle of who who had to live on soup and Jell-Os coz solid food just can't go through his throat did not also bother me at all.

Yes, I have been cautious. As a part of an organization which advocates against cancer (good grace, I know I've been such a hypocrite), I decided that if I cannot quit then I might as well become a responsible smoker. I only smoked in designated areas for smoking and I made sure that no non-smoker--without their consent, inhaled the fumes of my cigarette. I thought that if I sinned because I knew that I was killing myself out of the habit, I was doing less evil by sparing others from second hand smoke.

I may not have died from a smoker's disease but then came the day when I slowly started to zoom into the teeny weeny effects of smoking on my skin, breath and respiration. Yes, I hated the eeky smell that the cigarette left on my fingers and clothes. Yes, I dreaded the fact that smokers' skin age faster. Yosi became that bad for me that even my body refused another puff whenever I forced myself to smoke.

How I quit started with an act. It was an act that sprang from the will and the choice of not smoking. Soon, refusing to smoke became a habit. Then because habits make a character out of us, I was no longer among the smoker's click. Nobody in the office thought of me as Yosi Girl. Even former yosi buddies did not think of me as a smoker anymore. And because of this, I was able to reverse my destiny.

I am happy that I no longer feel the urge to smoke. I am happy that I no longer feel tempted by friends who smoke. And most of all, I am happy that I can already cope with stress, heartbreaks and other problems without the aid of Mr. Yo.

I realized that quitting is an act of self-empowerment. If you ditch that yo for good, then you stand an inch higher on your heels.

* * *
Thanks to the power of institutions to change habits. Laws and ordinances that prohibit smoking in crowded places made people smoke less. Yes, thank you Ateneo for the smockets or the SPGs (later on, wala na talaga). Thank you Mayor Binay for making Makati the first Philippine city to prohibit smoking in buildings; Davao and other cities followed.

And thanks to my daughter. Because of my pregnancy and breastfeeding days, I knew that it was indeed possible to quit. So for her, I give her the assurance that I won't leave her because of dying from a smoker's disease.

Images from viraltrivedi.wordpress.com, www.crestock.com and www.library.nhs.uk.

Filipina Writing Contest EB

My first EB. Ever.

The experience was fun: a yummy buffet, a lechon (that I was craving for a few days before), lotsss of cool prizes and most of all, lots of friendly, unassuming, down-to-earth people. I was lucky to have known Ms. Janet Toral and the rest of my seatmates at the LUCKY TABLE--Betsy, Jehzeel (tama ba?!), Aiza, Arbet (Loggins) and Mar. (Guys, if ever you find this post, please correct me if I got your names wrong.) Guess what? I won a $25-worth GC from regaloservice.com =)

I'll be posting the links to the winning entries as soon as someone posts them.

L is for Lucky!

The Relationship Stock Market

When some ladies from my office's marketing department learned that I am out on the market, I was surprised to see them turn into instant brokers and traders. It's like I just announced that SEC (Securities and Exchange Commission) has just declared me as a listed company.

Sounds fun when you know that buyers are out for you. But because I do not think that I should be the company with stocks to sell, allow me to take the role of the investor.

My boss has just proclaimed herself as Financial Advisor. She began issuing assignments to her apprentices--some licensed stock brokers and seasonal market traders, to ensure that I will invest on the best, most promising and most profitable companies.

So the listed companies. Who makes it there?

Well, since I'm the one who's investing, I believe that I have the right to make my demands even more demanding. Hmm... How about an all-in-one package? Maybe someone similar to the Amex Peso Platinum--the best card for luxurious shopping, travelling and dining (dare not disagree, I was in the industry) or someone who's like your mid-range 3-in-1 instant coffee--comes with creamer and sugar?

The rule of the thumb: you have to be a risk taker.

Have I been a risk taker? Most of the time, yes. But I always had room for dark thoughts. I have indeed ruined possibilities for good investments because of fear and great amounts of suspicion. Oh crap, am I such a lousy risk taker?

The thing is, I have millions in myself. I am not pertaining to a fat bank account. But I am referring to all the intangible stuff I have. You know, like a well-kept body, a fairly sensible mind, a good heart and lots of good lovin' (kapal but so what?). But will I invest these millions over someone who's not a certainty?

My index works but sigh, fails most of the time. I've made a lot of negative return on investments. The profitable ones barely make it to half the acquisition price. Now, if I'll compute all the losses I've made in the past 5 years... Oh honey, give me some ice. I am having a headache!

Surges of happiness, kilig moments, selos and buckets full of tears are all part of being a stock player. One can profit, lose or well, just have a break-even. In the stock market, you can't say that it's not about the results but how you played the game. No. The stock market is very much result-oriented. It's about playing the game right to achieve the results you want.

I do hope for a bull market for 2008 since I have THREE (3) friends who have announced their wedding dates for the said year. But I do not think I am ready to join the married women's club yet. I just have so much to do in my single blessedness.

The relationship stock market sounds fun when you can afford to lose. However, for someone like me who has other priorities to consider, it's no longer as exciting as it was when I was young and childless.

Note: I am not into stock trading so forgive me for the misconceptions. I just thought it's fun to write about the parallelisms of the market to dating.