Okay. So let's say that you know this guy named Earl all your life. You describe him as a decent guy – a description so befitting his conservative upbringing. At this age, he says that he is still on the lookout for a future wife who wears skirts that are as long as a saya. While others laugh at the impracticality of his perspective, you secretly hope and pray that it's you he'll find.
But your notion changes the minute you get to talk to Ana-your flamboyant co-worker-in some office after party. As soon as Ana consumes her seventh margarita, her sottish talk shifts to the juicy details of her latest wild night encounter . . . with no less than your clean-shaven, Maria Clara-chasing childhood friend.
The Maria Clara consists of four separate pieces: the collarless waist-length, bell sleeved camisa; the bubble-shaped, floor-length saya; the stiff, neck-covering pañuelo; and the hip-hugging, knee length tapis, or overskirt. - Photo and Caption copied from http://www.lcu.edu.hk
How unbelievable – even when you hear of similar stories time and again!
Perhaps you're thankful now that you have no romantic links to Earl. But let's say that there is, aren't you likely to tell him “you're not the man I thought I knew” in a manner so intense that it puts you in the same rank as teleserye queen Bea Alonzo? Meanwhile, can Earl's defense be something as typical as “I can reveal my bad side to Ana and she wouldn't mind”?
I'm sure you agree that confrontations are made of variations of the said lines. And if we take a closer look at them, we realize that they all seem to center on the issue of identity. It makes us wonder: is our man's behavior a reflection of our selves and the kind of relationship that we have? Given this, is it possible that we have arrived at a quixotic version of the overused catchword “tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are”?
Ask around and you'll discover that men like Earl are not likely to show nor talk about their wild side to the woman they respect and intend to marry. On the other hand, they can freely act like total pricks around the women they won't mind to lose or will rather just keep on the friend zone.
It hurts to say this. But perhaps the reason why we seem to be dating all the wrong guys is no less than our very own selves.
So, will you tell me who you are dating now?